What to Do If You Need a Power of Attorney to Help a Family Member

What to Do If You Need a Power of Attorney to Help a Family Member

Navigating the care and finances of a loved one can be overwhelming—especially when that person becomes unable to manage their own affairs. Whether due to age, illness, accident, or disability, situations arise where a family member needs your legal authority to act on their behalf. This is where a Power of Attorney (POA) becomes essential.

Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to get a Power of Attorney to help your family member—and what to do if there are complications along the way.

1. Understand What a Power of Attorney Is

A Power of Attorney is a legal document that gives one person (the "agent" or "attorney-in-fact") the authority to act on behalf of another person (the "principal"). Depending on how it's written, it can allow the agent to:

  • Manage financial accounts

  • Pay bills

  • Make healthcare decisions

  • Handle real estate transactions

  • File taxes

A POA does not remove the rights of the principal—it simply allows someone else to act with their permission. It can be broad or narrow, temporary or permanent.

2. Choose the Type of Power of Attorney

There are several types of POA, and choosing the right one is crucial:

  • General POA – Broad authority over finances, business, and legal matters.

  • Limited POA – Authority is restricted to specific actions (e.g., selling a house).

  • Medical or Healthcare POA – Grants authority to make healthcare decisions.

  • Durable POA – Remains in effect even if the principal becomes incapacitated.

  • Springing POA – Takes effect only after a specific event, such as incapacitation.

For family caregiving, a Durable POA (financial and/or medical) is usually the most relevant.

3. Ensure the Principal Is Willing and Capable

You cannot force someone to give you POA—even if you’re their closest relative. The principal must:

  • Be mentally competent

  • Understand the document and its implications

  • Voluntarily consent to giving you power

If your family member is already mentally incapacitated (e.g., due to advanced dementia), you cannot obtain POA retroactively. You’ll need to pursue legal guardianship through the court instead.

4. Have the POA Document Drafted Properly

POAs must follow state-specific legal requirements to be valid. These typically include:

  • Specific wording required by law

  • Notarization

  • Witnesses (often two adults, not related or named in the document)

  • Clear designation of powers granted

Avoid generic forms found online—they might not hold up under scrutiny or meet your state’s laws. Instead, consult an attorney to draft or review the POA to ensure it’s legally sound.

5. Sign and Notarize the Document

The signing of the POA must be done with care:

  • The principal signs the document, usually in front of a notary public

  • In many states, witnesses must also be present

  • Some banks or healthcare facilities may have additional requirements, so check ahead if you know where you’ll need to use the POA

Once signed, the POA becomes effective based on its terms—either immediately or upon a triggering event.

6. Notify Financial and Medical Institutions

Having the POA isn’t enough—you must ensure that relevant institutions recognize it. Steps include:

  • Providing certified copies of the POA to banks, hospitals, or government agencies

  • Being added to bank accounts (if allowed) or authorized as a representative

  • Carrying a copy when handling transactions on your family member’s behalf

Some institutions may hesitate or delay acceptance. If this happens, ask to speak to their legal or compliance department. In extreme cases, you may need legal intervention.

7. Act in the Best Interest of Your Loved One

Once you are empowered, you must act as a fiduciary—in the best interest of your family member. This means:

  • Keeping finances separate (don’t co-mingle funds)

  • Documenting all transactions

  • Avoiding conflicts of interest

  • Following your loved one’s wishes as much as possible

Abusing a POA can result in serious legal consequences, including civil or criminal charges.

8. Know the Limits of Your Authority

A POA does not give you the ability to:

  • Change the principal’s will

  • Transfer POA authority to someone else (unless specified)

  • Override court orders

  • Force medical care against someone’s will (unless they are incapacitated and you are named in a medical POA)

If someone challenges your actions as the agent, you may need to present documentation and evidence of your authority and good faith.

9. Update the POA as Needed

Life changes, and so might your loved one’s needs. A POA can be revised or revoked at any time—as long as the principal is still competent. Reasons to update include:

  • Change in agent (you move or are no longer able to serve)

  • Expanded or reduced responsibilities

  • Relocation to another state (different laws may apply)

Always destroy outdated versions and inform institutions of any updates.

10. What If You Face Resistance or Challenges?

Sometimes other relatives, banks, or healthcare providers refuse to accept your POA. Here’s what to do:

  • Speak to a lawyer immediately—especially if guardianship might be required

  • Ask for the institution’s formal rejection in writing

  • Present medical evidence of competency if questioned

  • File a petition with the court if legal intervention is needed

An attorney can often resolve these issues with a letter or court filing without the need for a full trial.

Don’t Be Afraid To Get Help
If you’re facing legal questions, safety concerns, or emotional turmoil due to any of the situations described above—especially around caring for loved ones—don’t try to handle it alone. Professional guidance can make all the difference in ensuring your rights are protected and your next steps are clear. Whether you need legal advice, help with documentation, or assistance navigating local resources, speaking to an expert can bring peace of mind. Click here to get connected with professional support tailored to your situation.

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